To Take Or Not To Take A Solo Trip

Typing away post lunch, I realized I needed a break. Since the only one available right now was a 5-minute break on BuzzFeed, I quickly scrolled through articles and zeroed in on why everyone should take at least one solo trip in a lifetime (or something like that).

After going through 10 short points and a few random pics, I had a startling observation. That trip which I had planned every few months since I started my work life hadn't happened till now, and in all likelihood, would not in the immediate future.

There were more 'important' things to do, you see. There were friends' weddings, family commitments, festivals, peaceful weekends (a rarity to say the least). But the space to actually go on a solo trip? Nope. Not one bit.

As time has passed and life has become more stable (can be confused with boring but my friends assure it's the former), the thought of a solo trip has slowly faded away. Had completely disappeared, in fact, till this 5-minute break woke me up.

Earlier when I had just started working and income was, well, not enough to splurge on fancy trips, I restricted myself to trying new cuisines. 

Few years down the line, I can easily take a weekend or a few days off and go someplace peaceful, thanks to leave balance and money in the bank. But here I am, sitting and typing away instead of taking the solo trip which I need, let alone 'want'.

Of course, there's consent of parents. That's another challenge. But there are ways around that too, if only I try enough. 

The thing is, this so called comfortable/boring/stable life has made me stop thinking about what really matters. Sure I spend enough quality time with the closest people, but not enough time doing things for myself. I'm not talking about making doodles, cards, quotes, writing in free time or even dancing till I crash. The bigger things, the dreams I had made for myself...in short, the bigger picture of my life.

A minute to spare

I have been missing from writing in the blog I created to 'express' - myself, my life, my beliefs, my aspirations, my creativity.
I have simply told myself, all this while, that I am 'busy'. You know the usual things - work, getting rid of problems, handling the changes in life. So busy that I have not had 10 minutes to take out in the past few months just to be able to pour out everything I have been going through.
The best part about being busy is that you have no time to brood over negative things. The worst part is that the feelings fill up your heart, bordering on the point of overflowing, and you carry on living and don't realize what has really been going on in your life.
Just to take out this minute from my life to pause and write, it was almost a barrier that I had to break through to finally listen to myself, my heart, my mind and stop ignoring my own self. So much has happened that I was almost afraid to step back, observe and just write from my heart.

Life has been a blur, every day has been whizzing past me and I have absolutely no idea when I get up, go to work, have some fun and do a whole lot stories, sit through meetings that I wish I could doze off in, and then come back dead tired, only to fall asleep and wake up the next morning sleepy eyed yet again.
And though I am usually doing 'nautanki', a part of me is just so tired. There have been days when I have stared at food on my plate and chewed it slowly, not being able to taste the wonderful flavors. I blame my exhaustion on the commute, but I know my body being drained out is not the root cause of my state right now.
I have been living a life that's been full of change, in fact too many changes have taken place this year. Career, studies, personal front - it's all been one big shift from the life I have been living the past few years. What's hit me the most is ignorance of my own thoughts in this entire process. There has not even been a single moment when I have just spent time by myself and had a long look at my life - what has been happening, what is necessary, how is this change in life affecting me.

I didn't even pause to look at the result of my own actions - so many times I have deliberately hurt, or ignored someone, or done things which did not seem to be my own doing. And now here I am, at the onset of November (which I am sure will pass by as quickly as the other months), finally paying attention to the journey of this year, and life in the present moment. What a year! Time to sit back and relax - not the kind where I watch Masterchef Australia or make others laugh with my random acts during the day, but do what I love doing the most - read novels, write, sketch, dance and live life slowly to enjoy every minute.

The Time Traveller

The time traveller is someone who is thought about at times, is used as an expression when boredom sets in, gets a look of wonder on the faces that are lost in the journey of one.

Oh, what it would be like, to be a time traveller. To travel along paths unknown, bending around rising peaks, crawling along silent streams, unevenly branched out around lush forests, slipping on windy sand dunes; and all but a travel of mystery and depth.

A time traveller conjures varying images, from a poor boy that travels miles to seek fortune, to wisps of air that look like thin long strands of thread as it rushes past you to travel through ages unseen - spinning from history to future in a blur, in a moment which is unthinkable.

It is a fantasy to be the time traveller we dream to be. Be it travelling through time, or travelling along with time on your side, there is something dreamy about being a traveller. It represents motion, action, excitement, passion in times when life seems to revolve around beautiful yet all-too-simple facts and figures of hours ticking by.

The power associated with being a time traveller is unusual and gripping. There are no boundaries or rules, and life is an adventure without any plane tickets or visa hassles. It’s a journey where one chooses a destination and is transported to the land in a matter of milliseconds. It satisfies the curiosity of a past we only manage to read in politically correct textbooks. It shows us the world we all seek to know yet only manage to console ourselves with blinding headlines and exaggerated reports - the Truth.

The world is your oyster explains the mystical nature that comes alive with being a time taveller. Everything is defined in our lives. From searching on Google for all and sundry information, to 'genres' that help us classify music and data, to 'departments' where companies and universities can manage their work load better and avoid confusion of mixing everything up under one roof. We live by the rules, play by them (abiding by them is a different issue altogether) and define our moral stands and ways of living by them. Yet, our happiness is there when there is a sense of charge, purpose and energy in life. And this is an aspect which cannot be governed by rules or terms and conditions.

Gone are the days when sailing like Vasco da Gama was normal. The eternal purpose of filling our curious minds with answers and journeys has diminished or subsided, with the age of technology answering whatever possible question a human mind can think of. 

Setting off to unknown destinations is declared as 'madness' and one is expected (and required) to attend dinners and live their lives as indicated by social norms. Yes, our lives aren't our own anymore, no matter how much we claim our 'individuality' as our own. Maybe it's the safe shell in which we live - boring yet safe, or maybe it's a pattern we were meant to and longed to follow all these centuries. 

But we are still the way we really are - restless. With Google and other websites at your feet to serve every possible whim of your mind, we are still curious. What is the world truly like? Are we put on this planet to only drive that one way home, what is the life beyond what we see?

Books can explain civilizations, activities can help us understand the joy of living in different era, yet the feeling of 'being' in one is truly satisfied when one is present there. And this is where our wonder for time travellers arises. When you visit a chocolate factory, you see chocolate being made - the joy and amazement when you see that process is beyond words. And it isn't even remotely close to the novels that (try to) explain the mechanism by posting pictures of fancy plants and boilers.  When we come face-to-face with an object, it stays with us, unlike an image that barely registers in our mind while flipping through descriptive magazines.

All of us, at some stage, have wondered or wanted, to be a time traveller - to live that life when time is all we have, when the world is all we see, when words and voices are incomparable to action and drama seen live, when facts are defied by experience of seeing the world the way it existed, when knowledge takes a whole new meaning in observant eyes.

The world is your oyster, my time traveller. It is a mystical journey, a dream we might achieve when human beings cease to exist. It is a fantasy beyond the realm of technology. It is, The Time Traveller.