It is that fact, and notion which helps you see the light of negativity in yourself. Failure, Unhappiness, Jealousy - all stemming from comparing oneself and one's life to another human being's. Is there any end to it? No, I don't think so - its a plain vicious cycle, and never ending too.
Relationships - Worse than our own dissatisfaction about the relationship we are in, its the idea of our friends/partner's friends/ cousins having a gala time, better than our own experience.
Please don't think I am making fun of the human mind out here - of course, I am not. But even the strongest person with will power stored to the brim does get influenced by the way things evolve (or fall) around him. No man is alienated in this world. And consciously, or subconsciously, we start comparing and seeing the shortfalls of our lives, our partners based on what we see around us.
And that's when the bridge starts shaking. The foundation you might have built steadily with someone, starts to crumble under the pressure.
Another aspect of Comparisons is Money - This society is harrowed by the abundance of money everywhere. I repeat, 'abundance' of money. You must be thinking - oh, she is wrong; there is 'lack' of money!
Well, I ask you a question - these divisions in the society, the unwritten barriers that exist - is this because we are poor? No, not at all.
Someone is born in the river of money, while ther are some whose lives are only about that one bedroom shelter. The only difference? Where they are born.
I have seen, in my own school, teenagers and even kids, forming cold boundaries, excluding those who don't fit there, or 'belong' with them.
If everyone was poor, there would exist no demarkations. There would be no snobbery, or arrogance - for everyone is the same out here, on the street. A person driving an Aston Martin DBS Coupe will be the same as a person driving a Maruti 800. All are same. All are equal.
In this race (or madness of life, as I call it); its important to simply step out of your life and view it. Step out of your own shoes, and observe the path you are walking on.
Is it the path you want for your life? Is this the comfort you want to surround yourself with? Always remember one thing in life - its your CHOICE. Always. Every single minute of your life.
Relationships - Worse than our own dissatisfaction about the relationship we are in, its the idea of our friends/partner's friends/ cousins having a gala time, better than our own experience.
Please don't think I am making fun of the human mind out here - of course, I am not. But even the strongest person with will power stored to the brim does get influenced by the way things evolve (or fall) around him. No man is alienated in this world. And consciously, or subconsciously, we start comparing and seeing the shortfalls of our lives, our partners based on what we see around us.
And that's when the bridge starts shaking. The foundation you might have built steadily with someone, starts to crumble under the pressure.
Another aspect of Comparisons is Money - This society is harrowed by the abundance of money everywhere. I repeat, 'abundance' of money. You must be thinking - oh, she is wrong; there is 'lack' of money!
Well, I ask you a question - these divisions in the society, the unwritten barriers that exist - is this because we are poor? No, not at all.
Someone is born in the river of money, while ther are some whose lives are only about that one bedroom shelter. The only difference? Where they are born.
I have seen, in my own school, teenagers and even kids, forming cold boundaries, excluding those who don't fit there, or 'belong' with them.
If everyone was poor, there would exist no demarkations. There would be no snobbery, or arrogance - for everyone is the same out here, on the street. A person driving an Aston Martin DBS Coupe will be the same as a person driving a Maruti 800. All are same. All are equal.
In this race (or madness of life, as I call it); its important to simply step out of your life and view it. Step out of your own shoes, and observe the path you are walking on.
Is it the path you want for your life? Is this the comfort you want to surround yourself with? Always remember one thing in life - its your CHOICE. Always. Every single minute of your life.
I do believe two human beings cannot and should not be compared. But contrary to your views, comparison to some, is the fuel of life and motivation to perform. You cannot remove comparisons from life, its the way of nature, its maths.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting and thoughtful text. I do agree with you that comparisons with other human beings are doomed to bring us misery and unhappiness. I think the key to avoid walking on this path of comparisons is to follow your heart in every facet of your life and through this act gain a sense of mental peace and contentment in your own life. I wholeheartedly believe that we are prone to compare ourselves with others when we, either consciously or subconsciously, know that we are living our lives for something that is without, in other words for external recognizition and praise.
ReplyDeleteAs far as money is concerned, I am sure that even if money didn't exist, we, homo sapiens, would find some other equally stupid and irrelevant metric (perhaps not as easily measurable) to classify people in various categories.